The Truth Is  

Posted by Wiko

I almost said the words last night

I told myself the moment wasn't right

No one wants to be the one who says it first

But I've been keeping it inside

A secret for so long it hurts

The truth is that I love you

And I need to know from you

If you love me too

The truth is that I want you completely

So if you love me too

I need to know from you

What the truth is

Trying to look behind your eyes

I've been trying to read between unspoken lines

We keep dancing round and we don't know what's real

Can't let the music end

Before we can Find a way to say the things we feel

The truth is that I love you

And I need to know from you

If you love me too

The truth is that I want you completely

So if you love me too

I need to know from you

What the truth is

I thought I could just walk away

That you might be a passing flame

I told myself I wouldn't care if you weren't there

But the truth is that I love you

And I need to know from you

If you love me too

The truth is that I want you completely

So if you love me too

I need to know from you

What the truth is

What the truth is

Tell me what the truth is

为五斗米而生  

Posted by Wiko







又过了一天,轻轻叹一口气。。。
无端端中一张牛肉干,福星高照到。。!:(

踏入社会,开始工作。读了几年,毕业了,只求一份好工。个个毕业生都是这样吧。
想起旧同事和一些朋友之前抱怨现在找工难,寄十份求职信,可能只有一两份有回应,应征过后可能一个电话都没有了。所以他们只求有人请,更别说工作好不好。

我算幸运。E-mail了5、6份,有三份要求面试:
第一份:薪资不错,有点远,工作附大压力,同时还OK!
第二份:小规模,面试完直接要请我,是我挑剔!
第三份,眼看是三份当中最好的,前景也不赖。

啦啦啦啦。。被半推半就,选了第一份,做得不太开心。。。第三份最后决定请我,我也选择它。(虽然薪水麻麻,不过好在五天制,不用每天赶死赶命般不停得做!) ;-(

人心险恶的道理,出来社会了总会再补一堂课。人家可以临时反悔、最后一刻起你飞脚。。谁真的跟你讲信用? 有时想想,是不是当老板的人都很样衰??我公司那个还蛮欠扁的。哎。。我的米饭班主啊。。

最近发现自己的金钱观必须改改。之前家人说我是赚1000,花900的人。我总是笑笑回应:人生嘛。。及时行乐。以后顾不了难么多。

现在明白一份小小的薄粮,要支撑自己的所有开销、吃、住、拉拉杂杂的。。想想真心酸!

打个比方:
新鲜毕业生,给你一个工作,1.5K,一星期5天半制,超时没得算!
再扣除房租(200-350不等)、交通(50-150),吃。就没得“喝、玩、乐”了。
每个月钱在银行都还没有坐暖,又要支出了。。
一到月尾,发现自己所剩的钱寥寥无几,原来辛苦工作只够仅仅养活自己。

再说,从底薪1.5k,每年起薪(100-200),十年后1.5 + 1.2k = 3k。
几时才能买屋买车?十年、十五年过后才开始供?供20还是25年呢?
(而且以上的annum increment还算好的待遇了。想想那些起薪低,没有固定加薪的人,更惨!)

还想寄钱回家,想都别想!真的是想找个铜板刮痧都没有。。 ;-(

为了什么??我还真的不懂!!

最近翻开报纸都是关于“时下大学毕业生难求职”的新闻。原来情况真的那么糟。
那我可不是要好好保住饭碗??至少现阶段来说,是吧。。

有时工作时总会遇到瓶颈,自己钻牛角尖:我是不是不适合?为什么我总是做不好?


谁工作都有难过时,忍一忍,睡一觉又是新的一天!(真乐观 =p)

不过想想,我应该也呆不久,因为我知道,我不太适合吃这样饭。
身为一位设计师,我太没主见了,又没创意,记性不好又健忘加粗心!哎呀。。
看来我可能真的是要转行卖口才,或是从事服务业了!

再不然,套一句小姨每次跟我讲的话“成名要趁早”!呵呵。。我不想红,只要奖金!=D

有时情绪低落时想找个人抱怨下都没有。最后还是靠自己。
还是那句:忍一忍吧!

五斗米的力量,钱啊!我为您折下我的腰。。看来周末周日也要找份工作来帮补了! :-/



Leona Lewis  

Posted by Wiko






Echo


  1. Happy

  2. I Got You

  3. Can't Breathe

  4. Brave

  5. Outta My Head

  6. My Hands

  7. Love Letter

  8. Broken

  9. Naked

  10. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

  11. Don't Let Me Down

  12. Alive

  13. Lost Then Found (feat. OneRepublic)

  14. Stone Hearts & Hand Grenades

  15. You Don't Care

  16. Fly Here Now

  17. Let It Rain









Spirit


  1. Bleeding Love

  2. Whatever It Takes

  3. Homeless

  4. Better In Time

  5. Yesterday

  6. Take A Bow

  7. I Will Be

  8. Angel

  9. Here I Am

  10. I'm You

  11. The Best You Never Had

  12. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

  13. Footprints In The Sand

  14. A Moment Like This

  15. Forgive Me

  16. Misses Glass

  17. Run











Woohooo!! Finally got the most anticipated, Leona's sophomore album - 'Echo', without having to wait 'til official release on 16th November!!



I've got to hear some leaked tracks before which didn't blow me away! I was so afraid that 'Echo' would flop after the major success of Spirit!



After hearing 'Happy' for 2 months, I finally got the whole album. Gosh it's so fucken great! I knew it! Hehe..



In summary, imho, 'Echo' has been americanized and commercialized for sure. Compared to 'Spirit', it ain't refreshing and pure. Nevertheless, there're tracks I got addicted to.



For instance: Broken is definitely 5star and my favourite of the album! LOVE IT!! My Hands and Naked is great too! Outta My Head is something new and uptempo. Can't Breathe and I Got You is catchy! And of course, the cover of Oasis's Stop Crying Your Heart is Run part2! lol



Nonetheless, 'Spirit' will always be my favourite! It's just an album you won't get tired of hearing for years! My favourites from Spirit are Run, Yesterday, I Will Be, Better In Time, Bleeding Love, Here I Am, Angel, list goes on..! That nearly makes a whole album ain't it? Ha.. It's simply phenomenal! So-called the fastest selling debut album in UK chart history! =p







These are the tracks I rate 5star ★★★★★ (If you haven't heard of those, you should)


Happy
Broken
Stop Crying Your Heart Out
Bleeding Love
Better In Time
Yesterday
I Will Be
Run





Yes more from 'Spirit'. I'm liking 'Echo' but 'Spirit' is my all time favourite! =]

Anyone is better!  

Posted by Wiko

I'm not sure if everybody will go thru this phase. Everyday I get up and look at myself in the mirror, I feel fucked. I look more awful than yesterday.

I'm so weak and vulnerable.
I'm no good.
I never felt beautiful.
I wish I was blind so I would never see how I look like.
I have no self-esteem and self-respect,
But I'm insist on my self-deprecation.

Since I was small, people in school didn't like me that much.
I was brought up in a loving family, that's a bless.
I love my family too much,
as they are all I got.

I don't have much friends, only a few, good ones.
I realize that fact I'm not likable,
And I don't know how to get along with people.

I'm introvert, weird, indecisive. I can't see my future.
I'm 20, and I have no clue what I wanna do.
I'm not happy with myself, head to toe, physical and mental as well.
I just can't believe how worse I actually am.

I'm depressed, negative, sad, pessimistic. It just can't get any worse.
I feel sorry for myself.
I overthink things.
I question myself if I had been truly happy in my life, even just for a day?

I can't fathom myself, not at all.
I'm so sick, sick of myself as well.
Everytime I see better looking people, I envy them.
And then I hate myself even more.
People say it's silly to have plastic surgery like eyes job, nose job.
If i had the money, I'd make myself look good.
If it makes you feel confident and helps you get better treatment in life,
Why not?

I accepted the fact I don't look good.
So I try to be a good person.
If I was in a relationship I'd try my best to make a good boyfriend.
But love isn't a friend of mine.
It's always one-sided.

People I like are always too good for me.
So anyone likes me or wants me can have me.
I just can't be fussy.
As I don't have what it takes to be picky.

I sound sad and pathetic.
I don't love myself,
How can I be loved?
Nobody wants to be friends with a person like me,
Who's too negative and unhappy.

I wish I was a happy person.
I'm so bad at socializing.
And I always feel lonely.
Noone has ever seen the real self in me.
People always think I'm talkative and often chattering.
Sometimes I don't even know who I really am.

They say I'm being to hard on myself.
I'm lucky compared to many people.
But I can hardly make myself happy,
And I wonder why.
I reckon I don't have a life.

Other mates are busy with studies or work.
I don't know what the heck I'm doing here.
I'm ashamed,
Ashamed of myself.
Everyone else has a life,
A good life ahead.

I'm not ambitious, I don't know what I wanna do.
I don't have interest and hobbies.
I'm so boring.
I'm.. Aww!
"Get a life"

I feel like the days I spent in college were wasted.
I'm soo no good at the design stuff.
I'm scared to get a job,
As I'm not good enough.

I'm sad, I'm really really sad.
Sad for myself.
I wish I knew what's wrong with me.
Every day things just get worse and I can't cure myself.
I wish I was happier!
I'm just a person with serious issues.

I wanna be happy,
I really do.

My words are like pieces,
Lines in disorder.
I know.
I'm so fucked up.
I can't even write properly.
I just wanted to get it off my chest,
And thought writing it out would empty my heart.

I'm not feeling good at all.. =(

Heavy Heart  

Posted by Wiko

I know something's weighing on my mind..

I feel so fucked up..

I should be alright, but I felt hard to leave.

I thought I wouldn't yell "what a shame" that we didn't work out but would be glad.

What's with the heavy heart then?

I don't know if it was right, but I chose where I belong.

Maybe you were right, I wasn't lucky as he was.

Or perhaps I should be celebrating for getting out of this whole big drama.

Whatever! I'm knackered after the long haul flight..

Things will be fine when I wake up tomorrow!

Weekend in Sydney  

Posted by Wiko



Someone told me: If you like London, you'll like Sydney too! Umm, even tho they're both cosmopolitan, Londres is still my favourite!

I got to Sydney when it's having the worst weather ever, raining all time, and windy! Just wet.

Not sharing the friday night, it's my lil treasure in my pocket! Lovely one. :)

Friday night dinner was Tapas! With a bottle of wine. 100bucks...! OMG ;)

After waving goodbye to Damian, I walked right into the heart of city. When you're in Sydney, you know you can't miss the bridge and Opera House. OK so I did that, and Chinatown, Darling Harbour.

It always feels good to walk within a new city all alone, look around, new places, new faces. After walking thru the blocks, I walked into Darrell Lea. Was thinking of gettin some liquorice but ended up gettin' a choco bar! Ha..

Before walking back to Surry Hill to put my jeans on, for the freezing night, I was texted and told to be at Taylor Square. Dinner call! It just can't stop raining. Dayum! I was there and then there Lara came. We grabbed a drink at a nice bar while waiting for Damian and mates.

With my shorts on, we ran to King Cross to meet the guys. Here they are! Maria, Liby, Ben, Rowen, Hannah, Lara and me!

Without feeling intimidated being surrounded by all white people, we drink, talk and laugh! What a lovely night! The dinner reservation is at 9! Argh, it's chinese! And cost us almost 300bucks! (AUD yup) =/

At the dinner, we all wish Maria happy birthday, in different languages! The funniest one is when Damian says his wishes in Thai! How cute.. ;-p

Just a whim, these crazy aussies made up their mind, and we rolled to the karaoke! Fun going on down there.. With 2 big bottles of Vodka!

After midnight I headed to Oxford Street! That's the nightlife in here! Bustling, people drinking and havin' a fag and chat leaning on the pole at roadside!

I honestly think the people in the clubs are regular, they can tell if you're new in town or not! Once you step in, all eyes on you! LOL just like you'll be eaten alive.

Everyone's drunk along the street and in Hungry Jack's! Because of Maria's craziness, we nearly got into a fight! Wow exciting! We might all end up in lockup! Haha..

Columbian after! they danced till 5! All went bonkers!

Got home at 6 in the morning, yawn!

Sydney isn't that bad!




相处摸式  

Posted by Wiko




以前周遭的朋友和另一半吵架时,我会很好奇:如果一直吵,为什么还要在一起?

当吵架变成家常便饭,其实意味着什么?如果没有了互相信任,两个人该怎么走下去?想象在彼此心中对对方都有猜疑:你觉得我不成熟,总不了解你做每件事的动机,你就干脆省了解释那部分;我觉得你什么都不告诉我,要嘛就编织个什么什么的打发我。架一吵开,可怕的就随之而来:“你以为我不懂你跟他有做过什么,你真的以为我相信你说没有”(真的有没有,此刻在他眼里就当作有);“你每次说工作忙,其实在忙什么我知道,我只是给你机会诚实,不想拆穿你” 。。。 。。。 越吵越烈,一句难听的话接一句的,最后就是不可收拾。


吵架是因为在乎?仁者见仁,智者见智吧。有时导火线可能只是一件很微的事,但是无名火一着,什么都可以借题发挥。有人说吵架过后可以增进感情,但是如果闹到这么难堪的地步,和好后可能会不留痕迹吗?彼此会忘记当初怒火遮眼时对方开口说出的那些难听的话和翻起的旧账吗?也许此时才是你可以看清一个人的性格的时候,也是人性最诚实,最直接的时候。他说的,就是他内心想的。


两个人在一起计划未来,但我从没有想过我们会到永远。当你心里冒出这个疑团时,是不是你其实没那么爱他?有人曾经告诉我:你喜欢一个人,你就会想和他在一起到永远。我如果没有这个念头,是为什么?因为我心里想着另一个人。如果今天我是和他,我也许会想到十年,二十年,五十年后的我们。我在表达的是人是犯贱!你有没有在当你已经有另一半的时候,心里想着另一个?又抑或幻想可能你和他在一起会更合衬?但是是不是如果你今天和另一个他在一起就不会吵架?爱你的你不怎在乎,得不到的日夜挂念。有时真的该问问自己是不是真的那么爱他。


“我和你在一起,我心里想他。我觉得我今天和你在一起所遇到的问题,如果换作他,我们不会吵架。”是这样吗?又是犯贱心理作祟。我觉得和他在一起很美好,是的,是单纯的“觉得”,美丽,因为距离;我和你在一起,面对的是现实的问题,所以有纷争,有摩擦。难道今天我和他在一起,我们就没有现实的问题面对吗?就好比你在A和B选择一条路,选了B,好崎岖,好难走,就幻想A平坦,好一条康壮大道, 自己怎么没选?A真的是那么好吗?谁知道?犯不犯贱,你说?

如果我说那是人性,你同意几分?




• My Jukebox •