I'm not sure if everybody will go thru this phase. Everyday I get up and look at myself in the mirror, I feel fucked. I look more awful than yesterday.

I'm so weak and vulnerable.
I'm no good.
I never felt beautiful.
I wish I was blind so I would never see how I look like.
I have no self-esteem and self-respect,
But I'm insist on my self-deprecation.

Since I was small, people in school didn't like me that much.
I was brought up in a loving family, that's a bless.
I love my family too much,
as they are all I got.

I don't have much friends, only a few, good ones.
I realize that fact I'm not likable,
And I don't know how to get along with people.

I'm introvert, weird, indecisive. I can't see my future.
I'm 20, and I have no clue what I wanna do.
I'm not happy with myself, head to toe, physical and mental as well.
I just can't believe how worse I actually am.

I'm depressed, negative, sad, pessimistic. It just can't get any worse.
I feel sorry for myself.
I overthink things.
I question myself if I had been truly happy in my life, even just for a day?

I can't fathom myself, not at all.
I'm so sick, sick of myself as well.
Everytime I see better looking people, I envy them.
And then I hate myself even more.
People say it's silly to have plastic surgery like eyes job, nose job.
If i had the money, I'd make myself look good.
If it makes you feel confident and helps you get better treatment in life,
Why not?

I accepted the fact I don't look good.
So I try to be a good person.
If I was in a relationship I'd try my best to make a good boyfriend.
But love isn't a friend of mine.
It's always one-sided.

People I like are always too good for me.
So anyone likes me or wants me can have me.
I just can't be fussy.
As I don't have what it takes to be picky.

I sound sad and pathetic.
I don't love myself,
How can I be loved?
Nobody wants to be friends with a person like me,
Who's too negative and unhappy.

I wish I was a happy person.
I'm so bad at socializing.
And I always feel lonely.
Noone has ever seen the real self in me.
People always think I'm talkative and often chattering.
Sometimes I don't even know who I really am.

They say I'm being to hard on myself.
I'm lucky compared to many people.
But I can hardly make myself happy,
And I wonder why.
I reckon I don't have a life.

Other mates are busy with studies or work.
I don't know what the heck I'm doing here.
I'm ashamed,
Ashamed of myself.
Everyone else has a life,
A good life ahead.

I'm not ambitious, I don't know what I wanna do.
I don't have interest and hobbies.
I'm so boring.
I'm.. Aww!
"Get a life"

I feel like the days I spent in college were wasted.
I'm soo no good at the design stuff.
I'm scared to get a job,
As I'm not good enough.

I'm sad, I'm really really sad.
Sad for myself.
I wish I knew what's wrong with me.
Every day things just get worse and I can't cure myself.
I wish I was happier!
I'm just a person with serious issues.

I wanna be happy,
I really do.

My words are like pieces,
Lines in disorder.
I know.
I'm so fucked up.
I can't even write properly.
I just wanted to get it off my chest,
And thought writing it out would empty my heart.

I'm not feeling good at all.. =(