I know you will probably never read this, but this is about you and I need to get it off my chest anyhow. I'm feeling like I got caught in a maze in the middle of nowhere, all I know is I'm damned screwed up. As the saying goes 'the first will always be the most unforgettable and beautiful one' Umm, in a sense. Didn't we both take it as a fling in the first place?

Every now and then you cross my mind. I ask myself what good it'd do me I ain't got no answer, still it feels like chasing a high. You've got into my blood like a fiend, you got me addicted to you and make me a darkened soul. I miss the tender voice when you whisper my name in my ear, the warm palm taking me run through the blocks within high streets at 2, the compliments you tell me when you look me in the eye, the moist lips kissing me right at the roadside, the beautiful reflection of mine I've never seen nowhere but in your eyes, the voice saying you want me. Awww it couldn't be sweeter!

You're like sugar, you're one of a kind, you're making me go totally bonkers! The seedling of affection underneath me is in the burgeoning against the concrete above and no way in hell it'll stop growing even though it might turn out unrequited. All I know is it's exhilarating to hang with you, my heart flutters when you get close to me, I turn neurotic when you don't talk to me, and I want nothing but have you around me. I'm the biggest fan of yours, I adore you, I need you! I don't care if you're no good or you're nothing but a big trouble for me (like my friends always tell me), or what the real reason behind the breakup of you and your ex is, or even the conundrum perplexes me all this time. I just can't get you outta my mind.

I can't think straight anymore, I realize I need distractions, or just say a replacement would help. I don't know, I've lost my mind I suppose. The distance is a reminder of the fact that we're not meant to be and we can't be together, nevertheless I'm up against the trick of fate. Are you? Lord knows someone I barely know and I can never have could have swept me off my feet, head over heels, nonetheless I ain't got no clue how far it'd get. Crikey! It's killing me to wipe the affection off one bit by one bit, I gotta wean myself off you by all possible means, I have to!

I hate to say this but this is exactly what I thought I'd do right after we first met one year back. I thought I got over it, turns out you're the farthest thing from a noone to me. I wish you didn't have that influence to cause a stir in my mind! Alas, I can't deny it's magic when I'm with you. Arghhh help me outrun the fricking ambivalence tail chasing me. I just wanna be happy but heck how on earth I can be if I miss someone who's miles away on the other side of earth 24/7? The remedy I could think of is engage myself to 'Prison Break' marathon round the clock and turns out it isn't helping!!! Alas, whatever! All I needed to do is to unleash the emotions I've boxed up in my heart! I'll keep myself vanished and disappeared. What a relief, Okie dokie off to bed!

Sleep tight love [A.C.G] x x x

p/s: This is for the happiness, I'll be wishing you forever...